uggghhhh......

I'm usually pretty content with the fact that I'm a single girl. Guys tend to cause a lot of drama that I simply do not need cluttering up my life all the time. Of course, my idea of love and relationships is a little too fairytale-glass slipper-happy ending, but it's not like it even matters right now; clearly, there are not a million guys knocking on my door anyway.

But suddenly, I feel like a miserable single girl. My cousin just got engaged. My brother's engagement is imminent. Many of my friends are happily and completely in love. And me, the girl who wants so badly to find Prince Charming to make all my dreams of a happy marriage, life, and family come true? Yeah, I'm still single. I know it's mostly my own fault- I go to a women's college, and I don't exactly go out of my way to find guys or entice them.

I have this fantasy about meeting the perfect guy by a complete stroke of chance/fate/divine providence. We start off friends for a few weeks before he finally asks me out on a date, and it's absolutely perfect. Things progress naturally at a completely comfortable pace; there are issues, but nothing huge and life-changing. Someday, he proposes in front of all my family and friends with the ring I've always wanted. We get married at my parents house just like my grandparents did, and everything is perfect.

See? Way too fairy tale and idealistic for my own good. Crap like this is NEVER going to happen. Furthermore, nothing romantic is EVER going to happen for me if I don't stop acting like I'm above the trivial drama of guys. UGGHHH. Christmas always does this to me- I see couples madly in love, getting engaged, having their perfect Christmases together and I just feel like utter crap. Why can't I just be happy with my beautiful family and friends? I'm so incredibly grateful for them- I think they ARE my fairytale come true.

But sometimes, I just want a little bit more...